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Archive for November, 2006

What Do You Truly Value Most?

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What Do You Truly Value Most?

By Brian Maloney

Believe it or not, values are in the core of all of us. These
underrated rankings tell more about us than we could ever
imagine. Yet, many of us overlook this extremely
important portion of our lives.

Why do we?

Because so many of us get caught up in the race of life and
flying ahead of others becomes more important. If
becoming a better person everyday is important to you,
(and it should be) you need to make this crucial evaluation
before ever progressing forward.

Lets say hypothetically you have a lot of personal issues
unresolved, for whatever reason. In addition, you realized
that due to your being so self absorbed, you are the highest
value in your respective life and always have been.

Whew! A lot to have realized.

Your partner, child, job, friends, religion, car and pets are
all inferior to your number one position. This has a lot to
do with your feeling a lack of personal security that can be
made to feel secure by centering yourself in the spotlight at
all times.

The world owes you the favors!

This mindset is ultimately destructive and counter-
productive at best. Although, you do as much as needed to
hide this characteristic of your personality, your thickened
veneer will grow more transparent as the days go on. The
people you hold most dear will eventually see right through
it.

By not holding your partner and children in the number one
position, you are not only taking their love for granted, but
in time setting yourself up to losing them, or at best, they
will grow to resent your obvious narcissism.

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The fact is that everyone in the world has naturally selfish
tendencies. How would we anticipate a reward for a job
well done without thinking of ourselves?

To what degree do we keep this selfish viewpoint close to
the chest? That is a very important question to always ask
yourself.

Balancing this aspect of your heart and your intentions with
this question could certainly be the single most important
question you ask yourself throughout the course of your
life.

If ranked properly, your values can dictate your future by
holding yourself below rather than at the top. Your
interpersonal relationships will be guided by this ranking.

However, this is not something you can fake!

This point cannot be said more emphatically.
Introspectively gaze into your heart and truly ask yourself
this poignant question.

If you still come out of that experience with yourself as the
most important, than your living too selfishly. Additional
introspection would definitely be indicated at that point to
gauge what is most important.

To further illustrate, here is a simple example: Your young
daughter is in the second grade and tonight she has her first
play opening. She is the innocent bunny, but your Friday
nights have historically been designated for haning out and
drinking with the guys.

Quite a dilemma, huh?

Should I see my daughter s first play performance or
should I let my super important friends down because if I
do, I might lose one or two of them since I m not a
gamer . You think this will inevitaly ruin or dent up my
social life.

Hmmmm…

Well if the answer is to go to the bar with your friends, you
are slowly or quickly ruining what should be the most
precious relationships to you. Your daughter and partner.
If it was not even a question and you wouldn t have missed
her play for the world, then you d be surprised how many
selfish people would have picked the social situation.

This example is one of a million I could have come up with
that determines your higher and lower values in life.
Deciding what’s more important to you and committing
yourself consistently to this mindset.

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It is not as important the farther you go down the list of
high values, but your number one and two are of the utmost
importance.

Try to make certain it s not you at numero uno!

Being selfless is a mindset, especially towards your family
and living life with an empathetic attitude toward the rest
of the world, creates a more harmonious existence.
Moreover, this will eventually speak volumes about your
character and lessen the burden of guilt that can eat away at
your very core.

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If you strive to live cleaner, not a necessarily more boring
existance, you ll want to examine your highest and lowest
values in your life everyday and vow to maintain their
order. They will keep you mentally healthy and always
progressing.

–by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com
Want to improve your personal values?
Get high-quality-relationship advice for
guys and gals from a ‘Logical’ standpoint.
Visit ValuePrep
Relationship Advice

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About the Author

Brian is a relationship specialist who views life as a logical journey that should be treated as such. “It is not something that should be taken for granted in any capacity”

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Your Job as a Role Model

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Your Job as a Role Model

 by: Anthony Kane, MD

A certain educator was once asked at what point should a parent begin to prepare for child raising.

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“How old are you?” the educator inquired.

“Twenty-three.”

“You should begin twenty-three years ago.”

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What is the message? The single most important thing a parent can do to educate a child is to provide the child with a good role model. A parent has to work a whole lifetime becoming the type of person that he wants his child to become.

The most important people in the world in the child’s eyes are his parents. They are his first and most important teachers. The behavior of a child’s parents leaves a permanent impression in the child’s subconscious mind. Why is this so? The reason is that the most reliable source of priorities and values in a child’s eyes is his parents. Children have an innate trust in their parents. They feel that everything their parents say and do is the true and proper way to behave.

We all wish our children would do what we say and not what we do. However, this is not how the mind of a child works. The intellect of a child is undeveloped. As a result, children function an emotional level, absorbing more from what they see and hear around them than from what they are taught.

What is the take home message? The main thing for you to realize is that you have far more influence on your child than you probably realize. Your child is going to pattern himself after you. That is how nature set it up. Your job as a parent is to be the best role model that you can be. True, it is hard, but that is the way it is.

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The following is a story I heard recently that brings out the extent to which your child learns from your actions.

A certain kindergarten teacher once warned a group of parents to be careful how they behave in front of their children.

“By the way your children play in school,” she said. “I know which of you treat each other respectfully. I know which of you use foul language at home. I know everything about how you behave in your home by the way your child plays, talks, and behaves.”

Remember, you might think that everything that goes on in your home behind closed doors is hidden from the world, but it is not. Your child sees everything. Your child is going to take your behavior and broadcast it to the world. Make sure that what he is transmitting is something that you want the world to see.

Anthony Kane, MD

ADD ADHD Advances

http://addadhdadvances.com

About The Author

Anthony Kane, MD is a physician, an international lecturer, and director of special education. He is the author of a book, numerous articles, and a number of online programs dealing with ADHD (addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html) treatment, ODD, parenting issues (addadhdadvances.com/betterbehavior.html), and education. You may visit his website at http://addadhdadvances.com. To sign up for the free ADD ADHD Advances online journal send a blank email to: subscribe@addadhdadvances.com?subject=subscribeartcity

akane@addadhdadvances.com

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